Archive for January, 2008

Chances we miss…
January 14, 2008

Has it been forever since I blogged?  Yes…can you tell life has been busy?!  October was a huge month for Tiny Purpose, followed by November and December which are full of holidays and preparations.  But today, I wanted to post something that I’ve been wondering about…I wanted to share this at the November meeting, but ran out of time…I didn’t want to share it at the Christmas party because it was our special night…and I don’t want to run out of time tonight…so I sit and share it this afternoon…

I read the book “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom this fall, and I found it to be poignant.  Over the Holidays, Oprah and one of the Networks made a movie of it–maybe you saw it, or maybe you’ve read the book…For those of you who haven’t, it is the story of a man who believes his life is over and after a tragic accident, finds himself spending the day with his mother, who had passed away. 

The part of the book that got me thinking was the idea of “one more day”…What would you do if you could have one more day with a loved one you have lost?  If you could have one more day with your baby, what would you say?  What would you do?

I have a hard time answering these questions…Would I go back to my pregnancy?  If so, I would want to be able to feel Hope move, which unfortunately I never experienced.  I would want to feel and experience a normal day of pregnancy with her and feel the excitement and joy of expecting your child that I was robbed of… I would take photographs of me pregnant…I even think I might have a plaster molding made of my very slight baby bump…I would tell her over and over again how excited I was, how loved she was, and how I couldn’t wait until she was here with me.

Or would I want Hope as a newborn?  The chance to hold her and look into her eyes as she look into mine…the chance to say “I love you” over and over and know that she is hearing my voice, and seeing my expression as I say it…the chance to watch her as she sleeps and hear her cry in the night…the chance to dress her in pink and frills… 

Even though I think the age of three is really tough, part of me wonders what Hope would be like at three and thinks maybe that is the age I would want her to be for our day…I would love to hear her chatter on about anything and everything…I’d love to see how her face had changed–did she still look like Kelly, or would I see some of myself in her?  What would be the important things that she would share with me about our time together and our time apart…

I have no idea what Heaven will be like or how old Hope will be when I get there, but I know that she’s waiting there for me and that we will spend eternity together there.  I know that when the day comes for us to be reunited, it will be a day that I could never have even come close to getting right in my dreams…but while I’m here, apart from her and wishing that I wasn’t, I can’t help but wonder what she would have been like and what our time together could have been like.

How would you spend the day if you were given one more day with your baby?  What would you say, what would you do? What do you wonder about as you dream of your baby…no matter how long it has been, we still all have moments when we wonder about the chances we missed…let’s share them with each other.

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